Tuesday, May 19, 2009


i'm not sure if by less posts on my blog is better or worse. am i falling into boredom? time to fix it.

Monday, May 11, 2009


i just got off the phone with a close family friend of mine. his dad is dying. i grew up with this family and they are like cousins to me. i couldn't even stay on the phone long enough to ask to talk to his mom because i couldn't compose myself. i can't imagine what it's like to have to hear from so many people how sorry they are because of such a horrible thing is happening. to hear how calm my friend's voice is, i don't know what to make of it. don't get me wrong, i know it's killing him. he's taken care of his dad the past several months. i just don't know if it's where you just can't cry anymore or the reality of it all has yet to sink in.

please, no comments on this post. just pray that God surrounds this family with the support they need in this time of sadness.

Friday, May 8, 2009


check out my sister's etsy store! The Kitchen Shoppe

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


so the new camera has been going to work. i still need a lot of practice, but i'm starting to understand a lot more and being able to pick out things that i haven't been able to do so in the past.

went on a shoot at the fisherman's wharf,

went to walla walla,

and just walking around on the ave.

Thursday, April 30, 2009


today was almost perfect. woke up late, worked for a couple hours, worked on my creativity, walked around the city shooting pictures (with the help of the genius ben blood), rummaging through thrift store goods, eating a delicious veggie burger dinner, and ending it with some bowling. the one thing missing? wow, i'm not even sure. i need to make things happen so that this can be done on a more regular basis. here are some of my pics!

oh yeah, i bowled a 183 too....proof is in the picture.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


so i'm in so cal (again) and i get flack from both seattle and cali peeps. seattle saying "you're leaving again?!?!?" and cali saying "you're back again??!?"

what can i do, there have been a lot of events to bring me back to my hometown. including the wedding of my first friend. yes, my first friend outside of the "family friends". weird that i can say i've known this man for over 20 years. to be honest, it scares me. those are words my parent's use. yet, these 20+ years have been amazing. i actually refer to AR as my brother. we've fought physically and verbally, and gone through hell and back together. we aren't the best at keeping in touch, but i do know that he has my back if it really came down to it.

the wedding was beautiful. things went accordingly. untraditional but nonetheless amazing. it's so great to come together with family and friends to celebrate such a wonderful occasion. his family is like my family, and will always be.

also, thank you to a really kind DOC M, i got a new toy. ben, get ready for a plethora of questions.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

it begins (again)

this evening was much needed. again, i'm back in ca. i get a lot of "you're back again?" and i'm not quite sure how to take it. but that's another story.

so this evening i went out to irvine, ca to support two great things: 1) noah and abby gundersen and 2) to write love on her arms. my good friend kd picked me up and was gracious enough to drive us out there. we stopped at cpk and got some delicious eats before heading to the uci campus. when we got there, i called noah who was frantically looking for a 9 volt battery, so i rushed to see if i could find one. by the time i got back, he had 5 of them, but i'm glad the situation got sorted. as we sat there listening to the sound check, i couldn't help to think of how many times i've heard this dynamic duo play, and how my excitement to see them play again is still at an all time high! there was some technical difficulties as they were getting set up, but after a few adjustments, it was finally fixed. as they let people in, we sat and chatted, and it felt as if i hadn't seen them forever.

again, noah and abby delivered. rejuvenation to my being. then jamie tworkowski (the founder of "to write love on her arms") spoke about what his company is trying to accomplish, which is "movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide."

jamie spoke from the heart. it wasn't about promoting his company, but rather promoting the awareness that there are people suffereing out there that may just need an ear to listen to their cry. he even admitted that he was going through some tough times, but that being able to come and discuss these topics with people was a highlight of his day. he brought a friend up that had dealt with drug addiction, and i was moved by his story of downward spiral to upward rehibilitation.

after the program, i was able to speak with jaimie for a while expressing that what he was doing was so great, and that one day i would be able to do a similar thing. his humbleness and gratitude were amazing, and he also told me he still wears his le grand cru shirt that i gave him a year or so ago! i really do hope that one day, i'll be able to help those that need it, and take time to talk to people who just want to chat.

we invited him to eat with us, but he was tired and had an early morning to rest for, so he graciously bowed out for the evening. so, noah, abby, jenn, josh, kevin, marc, keith, and i went to the yardhouse to eat. as i sat down, i just marveled at the group we had together. a table full of talent. conversations immediately began, and i was trying to jump back and forth into all of them. there's nothing more fun than a group full of friends chatting over some delicious food! i'm so excited for the things to come, and hopefully these types of events will happen more often. i know i've said it before, that this year feels like it's going to be a good one, and tonight just reassured it. i feel that something big will happen, maybe not for me, but for someone in my group of friends, and i can't wait for the ride to follow!

Saturday, April 11, 2009


so the last 4.5 days (yes, the .5 is very important to me) i tried doing an all raw detox. i wanted it to last longer, but i love food too much so decided that it wasn't for me. it was actually a horrible experience and i respect anyone that can do it.

so the bigger question came: why do we subject ourselves to such torture when we could just make some small adjustments and still reach the same goals?

for example, i decided to put my body through 108 hours of eating raw foods, when i could have maybe just cut out some bad stuff and exercise more. i feel that as a society, we want the "easy" solution, but to me, it's a lot harder. anyways, i don't even know if this all makes sense, but i think i would just like to know where that psychology comes into play where i thought: raw diet would be a lot easier than going out to exercise more.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

what to do

the last few weeks have been nothing but fun. back and forth to california, concerts, and visitors to seattle....it's been really great. i can't say a lot of work has been done, but at the same time, new connections have been in the works, and we are really only a few steps away from completion of the website (now how long that will take, who knows). 

sad news is i may be leaving this place to go back to so cal because of many reasons. haven't had the official talks with some people because they either haven't really been around, hard to get a hold of, or overseas. a lot of details need to be worked out with both these seattle and cali people so hopefully i'll be able to get to talk to them soon. 

as far as lgc goes, it's not over, but it's not moving as fast as i'd like either. there's a lot on everyone's plate that's involved, but i can't afford to make it my #1 anymore either. and even though i tried living by matt damon's words in rounders "you can't lose what you don't put in, but you can't win much either," my pockets are almost all dry, and i have to take care of myself. 

i want so badly for this to work out so that i'm able to take care of other people, and in turn have them be able to follow their other dreams as well, but i find it very hard to convince that my method may work. but that's because we all have our own paths to go and our own lessons to learn. i know that if i re-read this, it's going to sound like a letter of complaint, but that is not it's intention. i'm 110% sure that i wouldn't change one thing about my entire journey moving here, and i still believe there are incredible things to come. 

keep the decisions that are about to be made in your prayers. things will all come together.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

tomb raiders

so my posts are gonna be a little out of order just cause of the amount of editing i have to do for each video. my friend MM came up from so cal this past weekend to visit. we decided to go visit some memorials. this video is sorta long, so only watch if you want to.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

day 2 complete

still on the road. long blog and cool pics to come.

got a ticket today. stupid officer lambert.

Monday, March 9, 2009


so i came home (yes, again) to get my car. hopefully it will allow me a little more leeway and give my roommate a little more freedom from having to drag me around wherever he goes.

these past 5 days have been crazy. selling shirts (thank you to all that asked and supported), bachelor camping trip (should have done more camping while i lived here) and an amazing concert (garage voice and noah&abbey were unbelievable again). i want to write more, but i need to pack a few more things for the road.

i'm dreading the drive tomorrow morning, but i'm happy i have some great company.

Saturday, February 28, 2009


wow...last night was amazing. noah and abby gundersen + garage voice. delish! i'm so very excited that i will be in ca for another one of their performances. last night, there were parts were i wanted to jump up and dance because the music was just so "feel good to my soul" but, the "sometimes i think i'm cool" in me just wouldn't allow. maybe i'll feel more comfortable when i'm back home.

so these boys have been gracious enough to lug around some of those le grand cru shirts around with them on tour. noah has been constantly asking me for a shirt so he can rock it, and i've just been horrible at getting one to him. it gives me an incredible rush when someone wants what you create.

in between the gundersen's and garage voice's set, i was standing alone and a group of my friends were talking to someone i hadn't seen before. they kept pointing in my direction so much that i finally just thought they were talking about something behind me. finally one my friends motioned for me to come over. they introduced this kid to me and he told me he wanted to buy a shirt. later my friend was telling me that he was nervous to approach me. al, whether it was your intention or not, you made me feel "almost famous". i hope that i was friendly to you and that i was able to answer all your questions. i never ever want to be viewed as "unapproachable" and  will always welcome new friends.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

jazzy ways

what more could i ask of a tuesday night. hanging at the triple door with some friends, drinking a green dragon and eating veggie buddha rolls, with live music playing in the foreground. i'm enjoying life, maybe a little too much, but then again, we should always take time to smell the roses.

so i now feel confident in using the bus system. with the occasional getting lost, it allows me to see more of the city. there's actually a part of me that likes waiting for the bus, as long as there are no crazies asking me if i can do karate moves or being ill prepared for the chilly winds. last night while waiting for my stretch public transportation, i noticed a couple walking down the street to the stop i was at. as their bus approached, they kissed passionately and continued to do so as the bus stopped, door opened, and waited. my first thoughts were "who are these people, to think they can just make others wait." but as ms lauryn hill was teaching me lessons through my ear buds, my thoughts suddenly turned. as she stepped onto the bus, they locked lips one last time, and as the bus drove away, he tapped twice on the windows and walked away.

i want that. where your time is at a standstill until you are apart. fast forwarding in your mind awaiting the next moments you share together again.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Saturday, February 14, 2009

so my friend AL drove out to seattle for the weekend. it was nice seeing him again. not having a car myself, he came and picked me up, paid for dinner, and we chatted. if anyone saw how great we got along, they would have thought we were brothers from different mothers. funny thing about that is we only started really hanging out a few months ago. the reason i mention this is because AL helped me out through one of the toughest transitions of my life. from issues with people to moving to another state, we conversed and weights were lifted off my chest. not everyday can you find people like this. the type of person that wants to take care of you as much as you want to take care of them. an extension of family togetherness from a friend that people struggle to find within their own families. 

rethink what's most important in your life. let those that you love feel like it's valentines day everyday. 

Saturday, February 7, 2009

delta my spirit

goodness gracious. friends here in the northwest have introduced me to some lovely treats for the ears. like i've said, i've been going to so many shows that it's hard to embrace all this new music at once.

this is what i've been hearing lately:
the globes
karli fairbanks
noah gundersen
kaylee cole
delta spirit

please, all you have to do is google "(whichever band/artist) myspace" and even if you don't have an account, you can listen to their works.

now all we have to do is get that garage voice album released to the wild. 

Sunday, February 1, 2009

realize and revitalize

back in the day, everything i did had a driving force behind it. studying, sports, chores, and practicing. oh the the piano. see, sis and i practiced by time. that wretched timer, clicking away, slower than the 10 freeway during rush hour. thinking that if i turned it around so the time wasn't facing me, that it would go faster. and after thinking maybe 10 minutes had past the atrocious smirk it had when i turned it back around and only 2 minutes had passed. i'm sorry mother, but i did fast forward it a few clicks sometimes just so i still felt i had control over that fake cheery little "ding" thing. 

the funny thing is, once the A on the test, the trophy/ribbon, the clean room, and the perfect performance came through, all the "blood, sweat, and tears" that we are supposed to remember, telling us how we accomplished these things, are forgotten, and the process/attitude is the same the next round about.

so i sit here, scared out of my mind. wishing i had a test, game, parent, or recital to push me. granted, my self-motivation is there, wanting to do something good, wanting to create something of my own, but i thought a lot of things would be, for lack of a better word, different.

for instance, you would think by now i would be used to the cold. no, each time i step outside, i'm wearing 2 jacket layers (which i love doing) and the frigid cold still bites as we wait for the car to warm. i also gave myself the false impression that i would be working at my favorite coffee shop, each time walking in, the cute barista, automatically knowing my order and preparing it with a smile, and not being asked to leave, but rather "so what time tomorrow?" i did not expect the close people in my life, keeping me in check, making sure things are getting done, making comments such as "why isn't the website done yet" or "you didn't have to move up there for what you're doing right now" (and i know these are all keeping my best interests in mind). sometimes i do feel that more was getting done at in ca because if i left it alone, it would beg to be worked on.

on the b side, i've been living in a completely different city, soaking in the new surroundings. i have been to more coffee shop concerts in a month, than my entire time in ca. le grand cru has been shown love by more than just my immediate friends. i feel like these things have helped refresh my stagnant soul. my friends garage voice have a new album coming out, and it has been a pleasure seeing how excited they are as they work on the cover details, track listing, and the planning of the tour. le grand cru could use a little bit of that rejuvenation spirit, and i believe it will after i post this. why? well because this is all i have in able to try and put food on the table. this is all i have to try and pay rent next month. this is my ideal shot to living the dream and making you all proud.  to be able to have my life like one of those adlib games going something like: 
"hey,  (person's name) , (person's name) , and (person's name) , let's take a (type of transportation) to (country name) and eat (type of food) and go (any activity)!"

no, i'm not asking for the fame and fortune of the next movie star or musician. i just want to be able to live and be free with my time, taking care of those that i hold most dear to me. so here i sit. one deep breath at a time, and diving in. pretending that the little timer is pushing me, but this time without a smirk. 

thank you to all who believe in me, to all that want to see this through as much as i do. you have no idea how much it means to me.  

Monday, January 26, 2009


i got this from my friend a.b. and just when you thought creativity was dead....

Thursday, January 22, 2009

i don't wanna grow up....

....but each year keeps on coming. i'll have to admit, i didn't know what to think of how my bday would turn out being in a new city and not knowing many people. every one of my other birthdays i've been home with all my longtime friends and trying to make each party better than the last. 

but i would like to first thank my housemate for putting an amazing evening together for me. we had a group of 15 come out for 5 hours of bowling! i'm definitely going to be sore in the morning. thank to you to all my new friends who came out to help this new town boy celebrate. 

thank you to all my hometown friends who wished me a good day. i miss your faces and wish we could have all been together. 

pictures and videos soon to follow. hopefully. as for now, i have a 9am fire drill coming up, so i must head to sleepsville.

Monday, January 19, 2009

sunday funday

i don't remember the last time i had such an excursion on a sunday afternoon. first off, coming from ca, i was always used to a car, gps, and having an agenda. today, i took my first solo bus ride to the city, asked a nice lady to tell me where my stop was, and walked aimlessly taking in my new city.

walked "the ave", went to gasworks, saw the troll under the bridge, had dinner with good people, got coldstone in 50 degree weather, went and sang 2 songs at a karaoke bar, and topped the night off watching "horton hears a who!". and these activities started around 2pm! we vowed to do some sort of day like this again, planning different parks, towns, and shops to visit. hands down this was one of the top 3 sundays of my life (although i can't recall what the other 2 were).

i wish i could share this with my close family and friends at home in it's entirety rather than just via text messages. hopefully, you all can come visit me soon.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

week end

so the week has finally been conquered. i talk as if i've been slaving over a regular 9-5, but i haven't. i must admit, if this tshirt biz turns out, i'll be a very lucky/happy man. the events that happened these past few days have been nothing but delightful. meeting new friends (i found a place to play ball every sunday), going to concerts of some awesome local musicians, trying ethiopian food (hands only), and surviving a real winter.

speaking of which, what better way to battle the cold with a perfect bowl of pho. 

also, i found an old video that i probably should be embarrassed about, but i'm not and i'm actually proud to say we won the "audience choice" award. so give me my 15 minutes. p.s. you may want to turn your volume down a bit. it's not that pleasing to the ears.

Friday, January 16, 2009

nubi buddy

i know i just wrote you a message on that social network site, but it made me miss you even more. so here's to you. it's sorta funny because at one point we were hanging out almost every day. then you had to go and decide to do this school thing and be "adult-ish". the reason i find it funny is because honestly, we haven't hung out or talked as much the last few months i was in town, yet every so often when i do see you or get a note from you, it's like no time has passed. i just wanted to tell you that i love that about you. also, the blunt comments, the desserts, and our list of unfinished chick flicks that we're supposed to watch so that i can at least say, "well, i watched it with a girl". hahaha. in the last year, i met a lot more "new" people than normal and i just realized it started with you. but i'm glad that it did and that we've had time to grow and know more about each other and i hope that it continues. thank you for bringing the extra, much needed, laughter in my life with your worries on the oh so many topics we talk about. frozen yogurt will never be the same without you!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

ponder this

(got this from an email)
there comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters
who never did
who won't anymore
and who always will
so, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

back to the SEA

between the humming of the airplane engine and people eating their dry roasted peanuts, i sat in my seat, partly eavesdropping and slightly envying the conversation behind me. 2 random people, meeting each other and talking as if they've known each other for years. the male, slightly boasting as to where he lives, i couldn't help but root for him spitting a little "game".  

as i slowly got lost in my own thoughts reflecting on this past "vacation", it's amazing how much has happened. the beautiful chaos of prepping for a wedding, reuniting with friends, and finally realizing the purpose for the turbulence in my life. besides the obvious, the only thing i'm truly going to miss are the new faces i've met in the past 3 months with whom i don't get to develop relationships with. but i'm eager to meet brand new people in wa and to apply my resolutions. emotionally, i'm drained, but my spirits are high and i'm about to get my second wind. 

if it were my choice, i would have made that man and woman exchange numbers and have cameras follow them to see how they would effect each other. if the conversation was purely polite or genuine dialogue. i just don't like the thought of being able to converse with someone so much and then going separate ways like it didn't mean anything. i do desire an encounter of such, and maybe i'll muster up the courage on my next flight.

Sunday, January 4, 2009


to my "little" sister:

you have grown to a beautiful woman and we've become closer than ever. you're wedding was absolutely breathtaking and to see your creativity become a reality makes you that much more special. the tears you saw on my face were there because i could see the complete joy in your heart as you walked down that aisle. i hope for nothing but the best for you and your new journey and i know God will bless you if you keep Him close. i felt the words i said were not adequate for how much you mean to me as my sister. know that i am always proud when being introduced as "j's older brother". call on me for anything and everything. love always.