bashful

wow...last night was amazing. noah and abby gundersen + garage voice. delish! i'm so very excited that i will be in ca for another one of their performances. last night, there were parts were i wanted to jump up and dance because the music was just so "feel good to my soul" but, the "sometimes i think i'm cool" in me just wouldn't allow. maybe i'll feel more comfortable when i'm back home.

so these boys have been gracious enough to lug around some of those le grand cru shirts around with them on tour. noah has been constantly asking me for a shirt so he can rock it, and i've just been horrible at getting one to him. it gives me an incredible rush when someone wants what you create.

in between the gundersen's and garage voice's set, i was standing alone and a group of my friends were talking to someone i hadn't seen before. they kept pointing in my direction so much that i finally just thought they were talking about something behind me. finally one my friends motioned for me to come over. they introduced this kid to me and he told me he wanted to buy a shirt. later my friend was telling me that he was nervous to approach me. al, whether it was your intention or not, you made me feel "almost famous". i hope that i was friendly to you and that i was able to answer all your questions. i never ever want to be viewed as "unapproachable" and  will always welcome new friends.

jazzy ways

what more could i ask of a tuesday night. hanging at the triple door with some friends, drinking a green dragon and eating veggie buddha rolls, with live music playing in the foreground. i'm enjoying life, maybe a little too much, but then again, we should always take time to smell the roses.

so i now feel confident in using the bus system. with the occasional getting lost, it allows me to see more of the city. there's actually a part of me that likes waiting for the bus, as long as there are no crazies asking me if i can do karate moves or being ill prepared for the chilly winds. last night while waiting for my stretch public transportation, i noticed a couple walking down the street to the stop i was at. as their bus approached, they kissed passionately and continued to do so as the bus stopped, door opened, and waited. my first thoughts were "who are these people, to think they can just make others wait." but as ms lauryn hill was teaching me lessons through my ear buds, my thoughts suddenly turned. as she stepped onto the bus, they locked lips one last time, and as the bus drove away, he tapped twice on the windows and walked away.

i want that. where your time is at a standstill until you are apart. fast forwarding in your mind awaiting the next moments you share together again.

Blog-tron

my baby...check it out.

www.blog.legrandcru.us

so my friend AL drove out to seattle for the weekend. it was nice seeing him again. not having a car myself, he came and picked me up, paid for dinner, and we chatted. if anyone saw how great we got along, they would have thought we were brothers from different mothers. funny thing about that is we only started really hanging out a few months ago. the reason i mention this is because AL helped me out through one of the toughest transitions of my life. from issues with people to moving to another state, we conversed and weights were lifted off my chest. not everyday can you find people like this. the type of person that wants to take care of you as much as you want to take care of them. an extension of family togetherness from a friend that people struggle to find within their own families. 

rethink what's most important in your life. let those that you love feel like it's valentines day everyday. 

delta my spirit

goodness gracious. friends here in the northwest have introduced me to some lovely treats for the ears. like i've said, i've been going to so many shows that it's hard to embrace all this new music at once.

this is what i've been hearing lately:

the globes

karli fairbanks

noah gundersen

kaylee cole

dawes

delta spirit

please, all you have to do is google "(whichever band/artist) myspace" and even if you don't have an account, you can listen to their works.

now all we have to do is get that garage voice album released to the wild. 

realize and revitalize

back in the day, everything i did had a driving force behind it. studying, sports, chores, and practicing. oh the the piano. see, sis and i practiced by time. that wretched timer, clicking away, slower than the 10 freeway during rush hour. thinking that if i turned it around so the time wasn't facing me, that it would go faster. and after thinking maybe 10 minutes had past the atrocious smirk it had when i turned it back around and only 2 minutes had passed. i'm sorry mother, but i did fast forward it a few clicks sometimes just so i still felt i had control over that fake cheery little "ding" thing. 

the funny thing is, once the A on the test, the trophy/ribbon, the clean room, and the perfect performance came through, all the "blood, sweat, and tears" that we are supposed to remember, telling us how we accomplished these things, are forgotten, and the process/attitude is the same the next round about.

so i sit here, scared out of my mind. wishing i had a test, game, parent, or recital to push me. granted, my self-motivation is there, wanting to do something good, wanting to create something of my own, but i thought a lot of things would be, for lack of a better word, different.

for instance, you would think by now i would be used to the cold. no, each time i step outside, i'm wearing 2 jacket layers (which i love doing) and the frigid cold still bites as we wait for the car to warm. i also gave myself the false impression that i would be working at my favorite coffee shop, each time walking in, the cute barista, automatically knowing my order and preparing it with a smile, and not being asked to leave, but rather "so what time tomorrow?" i did not expect the close people in my life, keeping me in check, making sure things are getting done, making comments such as "why isn't the website done yet" or "you didn't have to move up there for what you're doing right now" (and i know these are all keeping my best interests in mind). sometimes i do feel that more was getting done at in ca because if i left it alone, it would beg to be worked on.

on the b side, i've been living in a completely different city, soaking in the new surroundings. i have been to more coffee shop concerts in a month, than my entire time in ca. le grand cru has been shown love by more than just my immediate friends. i feel like these things have helped refresh my stagnant soul. my friends garage voice have a new album coming out, and it has been a pleasure seeing how excited they are as they work on the cover details, track listing, and the planning of the tour. le grand cru could use a little bit of that rejuvenation spirit, and i believe it will after i post this. why? well because this is all i have in able to try and put food on the table. this is all i have to try and pay rent next month. this is my ideal shot to living the dream and making you all proud.  to be able to have my life like one of those adlib games going something like: 

"hey,  (person's name) , (person's name) , and (person's name) , let's take a (type of transportation) to (country name) and eat (type of food) and go (any activity)!"

no, i'm not asking for the fame and fortune of the next movie star or musician. i just want to be able to live and be free with my time, taking care of those that i hold most dear to me. so here i sit. one deep breath at a time, and diving in. pretending that the little timer is pushing me, but this time without a smirk. 

thank you to all who believe in me, to all that want to see this through as much as i do. you have no idea how much it means to me.